


I Shot the Sheriff, but I Didn't Shoot No Deputy

by Eggsyobsessed



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Banter, Eggsy Unwin is a detective, Eggsy Unwin is smart, Eggsy figures it out, Eggsy just wanted to bring Harry pastries, Established Relationship, Harry Hart is a Detective, Humor, M/M, Merlin is a Criminal, Some Crack, cops and robbers, harry and merlin are together, it gets a little serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-27 08:16:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20404558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggsyobsessed/pseuds/Eggsyobsessed
Summary: Directly follows the fic titled: Cops and RobbersDetective Harry Hart has been shot, and he is out of commission until healed. Eggsy decides to stop at the bakery, to grab a few pastries Harry loves so much, and pay his mentor a visit.Eggsy is not expecting to see Merlin, one of London's most wanted criminals, seated at Harry's dining room table eating breakfast.





	I Shot the Sheriff, but I Didn't Shoot No Deputy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [frostpink](https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostpink/gifts), [Thrilmalia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thrilmalia/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Cops and Robbers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18928267) by [Eggsyobsessed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggsyobsessed/pseuds/Eggsyobsessed). 

> I had been wanting to write this since two lovely readers, who I am gifting this to, commented on the first story about a companion piece.  
Needed something different to write, and this is just what the doctor ordered. It is funny, a bit crack-y, gets a little serious, but happy ending.  
Title inspired by the song: I Shot The Sheriff by Bob Marley 
> 
> If you haven't read the first one, please do, it will make more sense. This is inspired by it, titled: Cops and Robbers.

“Good morning, Daphne,” Eggsy greeted the red haired woman, face full of freckles and the brightest smile he had ever seen. She was kind, and ran the bake shop, just a street over from the station, with her mum.

It was a cute little place, and often frequented by Metropolitan detectives and coppers. One, almost daily, being Harry Hart, who was still out with the bullet wound injury. Eggsy still couldn’t get over the whole thing, and was a little lost without his mentor, but Rox was a great resource when Eggsy was sure he had fucked up his paperwork; he’d rather not hear shit from Chester, or any of his superiors for that matter.

“Good morning,” she smiled. “The usual, Eggsy?” she asked, already placing three cinnamon rolls into a white pastry box, and added a cherry turnover, one of his favorites, that she thought Eggsy never saw, and offered a quick wink.

Eggsy’s cheeks blazed, she was always sweet and kind, her green eyes flicked up to him and he noted the hint of flower dusting her cute button nose; he thought that was adorable.

“Yeah, uh, and maybe Detective Hart’s, as well,” he added, because Eggsy had the day off and planned to go see the old grump.

He knew Harry hadn’t moved far from his home, so it wouldn’t be any trouble to pop over and surprise him with a few of his favorite danish. They even had the blueberry cheese he liked so much, and Eggsy was sure this would be a much appreciated surprise.

“Two coffees as well, please, Daphne,” he asked politely. To which she filled without having to question how he liked it. Honestly, Eggsy was coming here more often than he should, but the baked goods were fabulous, and admittedly, he enjoyed talking to Daphne.

She handed him the boxed sweets, the to-go cups, and undercharged him for the lot of it. Her fingers brushed his, as she accepted his card, swiped, and gave it back with that cute wink; Eggsy swore all the blood rushed to his face.

“Thanks, love,” he replied, adding a wink of his own as he backed out of the shop.

It was a gorgeous day, Eggsy idly wondered if Harry would be on the porch in his garden, knowing he liked to watch the butterflies that flocked around his butterfly feeder surrounded by Phlox, and an assorted other flowers that attracted the insects. Eggsy would never understand anyone who liked them so much, but he supposed live butterflies were better than the shadow box ones - filled with dead ones - that littered Harry’s walls. He had only been to the flat once, and for good reason, because the dead dog in the loo was a little creepy, but Eggsy loved Harry, and so he’d endure another trip to make his friend feel better.

Eggsy decided to walk there, not having been out in the field a bunch since Harry got shot, and he itched to be active. The running, and parkour, he had done was nothing to use all of the pent up energy he had stored. To be honest, neither was a 3 kilometer walk, but it was a different way to get in some exercise.

He made a right down the Mews, a smile on his face, when he saw Harry hobble back into his home, after retrieving the mail. At least he was home, and his assumption were correct, and he wouldn’t have to look like an arse when no one answered the door, only to be left with pastries he despised; Eggsy hated blueberries.

While he balanced the pastries and coffees, Eggsy knocked on the door, and to his shock it was unlocked. He poked his head in with a, “Hello!” shouted, to make his presence known.

There were no answer, as of yet, but could hear a chair scuff the hardwood. Eggsy grinned, and let himself all the way in, as he spoke.

“Figured I’d come see you, yeah? I know you been benched for a bit, but was missing your arse.” Eggsy giggled to himself. “Which has an extra hole in it.” He felt proud of his pun, he knew Harry would just give him that ‘I can’t believe you just said that’ look - which if Eggsy is being honest, is quite often.

He made sure to remove his trainers, slid them next to Harry’s oxfords, and a pair of brogues - odd, he never remembered Harry liking oxfords. Eggsy shrugged it off, and head into the dining room. There was a full table set, and what appeared to be a traditional English lay out - it looked amazing. The head was empty, but a man to the left of that sat. Eggsy walked past him, noted a shiny, bald head, gave a, “Hullo.”

Because manners maketh man, and all that jazz Harry drilled into his head as a recruit. Eggsy got as far as the backdoor, when he stopped.

“Who the fuck are you?” he screamed, gun drawn - coffee, and pastries, dropped to the floor, forgotten. “Holy shit, HARRY!” Eggsy shouted.

It wasn’t hard, after a few seconds, for Eggsy to recognize the man seated at his mentors table; The Scottish Wizard. He had only seen pictures, but this man looked far too relaxed for the photos of a man who glared, hazel eyes hard, only thing that matched his profile were the salt and pepper stubble grown on his face - a little thicker than he’d seen before.

“Put your hands up!” Eggsy demanded, his hands shook and Christ he was a fucking cop for crying out loud. Get it together, Unwin - he told himself. “Hands where I can see them, guv!” At least his voice is steady, which isn’t much comfort because the man had been wanted for decades.

And he’s dressed in fucking flannel pajama trousers, and a white T like he just woke up and is having his breakfast - sure as shit there is a full plate in front of him, with a steaming hot cuppa on the left - what the actual fuck!?

Merlin hadn’t looked up from the paper he was reading, flinched, paid Eggsy any mind. He treated him like he wasn’t even there; that pissed him off.

“Harry!” he called again, frantic. He wasn’t sure whether to shoot, or fuck, and the goddamn safety was still on; he switched it off. “I’ll shoot!” he warned.

Finally, Merlin looked up, gaze bored and tired. “No ye won’t. Ye would have done it by now,” he replied, went back to his reading.

Harry came into view, not from behind him either, but the same way Eggsy had come. He thought he’d seen it all, except Harry bent down to place his lips to Merlin’s and then it all went black.

\---

“What was I supposed to do?” Merlin hissed, as he applied a cool, damp flannel to the lad’s forehead. It was white as sheet, clammy with a sheen of sweat. “Hello, I am Harry’s partner? Aye, that would have worked out just as well.” His voice dry, not an ounce of humor.

After they exchanged a kiss, a loud thud caught Harry’s attention, and he was unaware of Eggsy with his gun drawn, who looked like he was going to pass out from the sight of Merlin alone, and in fact fainted after their morning kiss. Harry had managed to drag him to the couch, as he tried to figure out what the fuck happened.

He was grateful Merlin had cleaned the mess of spilled coffee and pastries, he internally mourned the loss of the two cheese and blueberry danish, Eggsy had brought.

“This whole thing is a cock up!” Harry exclaimed, his arms flailed to make his point - which pulled at his stitches, fucking arse wound. “You weren’t supposed to shoot me, had you not done that, this,” he waved his hands about, suggestively, “would not have happened!” he grumbled.

Merlin glared his way, which Harry ignored in favor to inspect Eggsy’s head - no bumps, bruises, that he could see - to be sure the lad wasn’t injured. “I aimed for him,” Merlin growled. To which Harry gave him the two finger salute.

“I am aware,” Harry acknowledged, annoyed. “Go upstairs and fuck about with some tech, but do NOT! Use our home computer for cracking into bank accounts, please? I would rather like to avoid King sniffing about my home.” He smoothed Eggsy’s hair from his forehead, and wondered when he’d come to.

“Our home,” Merlin stressed, but gave Harry’s forehead a kiss before he departed.

“Eggsy,” Harry said gently, and this was fucking ridiculous. He gave a shoulder nudge, waited, and did it again until he shook the boy, and Eggsy blinked frantically. His blue-green eyes wild, while they shifted around the room quickly.

“Harry!” Eggsy croaked, but worked his way up and felt for his gun - that was now in Harry’s possession - only to come up empty. “He’s here, in pajamas, but here and going to hurt you,” Eggsy worried; Harry’s heart warmed with the concern. “Oh, shit,” Eggsy gasped as he took hold of his head, and flopped back onto the pillows.

“Take it easy. You hit your head pretty hard,” Harry reminded him. “Stay here. I will get you something for the headache.” He was up and out, Eggsy not moved from his spot. Harry was in the medicine cabinet when he heard Eggsy shriek, he dropped everything and ran to find Merlin in the living area, hands raised.

Which was fucking comical, because Eggsy hadn’t a gun to speak of but managed to grab the cricket bat Harry kept under the sofa; good boy, Harry thought.

“Wot the fuck, Harry! Shoot him!” Eggsy’s face set in a frown, and it took Harry a second to realize he stood one foot on the back of the couch, the other on the arm.

“Eggsy,” Harry said calmly. “Put the bat down.” He used that tone of voice, he often did when speaking to a small, frightened child. And then Harry thought about that, turned to look at his partner. “I should shoot you on principle alone,” he snapped, but then focused back to Eggsy, who was now panting.

“I’ll fucking knock him out myself, and turn him in. He got you tied up with something, Harry? Blackmailed you, got you believing he’s the good guy?” Eggsy babbled on, and Harry thought it kind of adorable.

“Put the bat down,” Harry said, as he came forward to lower it.

“I’m going to head back upstairs,” Merlin offered, and began to back out until Eggsy reached one of Harry’s double holsters, and produced a pistol with the safety turned off in a second. “Well, that went south quickly.” Merlin nodded, he kept his hands raised.

“Get the fuck down.” Eggsy had found his voice, the gun didn’t shake in his grasp this time, as Merlin lowered to the floor. “Harry, cuff him.” Eggsy gave a chin nod in Merlin’s direction. When Harry didn’t move, Eggsy nudged his shoulder - a little harder than Harry would have assumed - and yelled, “Wot the fuck, Harry! Cuff his arse!”

Harry twisted to see Merlin on his knees, hands behind his head, and never once had seen him in such a position...not in a serious matter.

“Usually I’m cuffing you for fun,” Harry murmured. Merlin gave him a faint smile. “Eggsy,” he sighed as he faced Eggsy, “I can’t.”

Eggsy raised a brow, the air shifted with disbelief. “What do you mean you can’t? Seen you take down some of the scareist mother fuckers, and he’s just a computer nerd good at hacking and robbing banks.”

“I should be offended, but it’s a compliment,” Merlin approved. “Been good with computers my whole life,” he added.

“Do shut up, Quinn,” Harry snapped, because he didn’t need Merlin getting a hard on over conversation about tech. “And I can’t...because I love him,” he finished for further explanation.

If Eggsy’s mouth could reach the floor, it would have for how it popped open and lay slack. Harry would make a joke about catching flies, but this was not the place nor the time.

“You what…?” Eggsy breathed, the bat finally fell to his side. “That’s why no one has been able to catch him.” Eggsy put together quickly. And for all of his puppy like tendencies, this was precisely why Harry recruited the young man; he was smart.

Merlin snorted from his spot on the floor. “Don’t give him all the credit. His head will swell so big, we won’t be able to get him out the front door.”

Despite it all, Eggsy laughed. “Yeah,” he agreed, and sobered up quickly as Harry glared his way. “No.” He shook his head. “This is wrong, this ain’t right.” Eggsy hopped off of the couch, and weaved around Harry to stand behind Merlin.

Harry started to speak softly to Merlin, words of love and appreciation for the years they had together, as Eggsy worked to cuff him. Harry gave him a long, desperate kiss, forced himself to remember the shape of Merlin’s lips against his own, until he heard the cuffs click.

“It was only a matter of time.” Harry smiled sadly.

Eggsy stood, but Merlin stayed where he was. “I can’t do this,” he told them, the words sounded like they hurt him. “I need to run. I need to think.” And Harry realized Eggsy hadn’t cuffed Merlin.

Without another word, Eggsy left.

\---

It was a few more weeks, before Harry saw Eggsy and the only reason he had was due to his return to the station. There were no questions, comments or concerns on what had happened in his living room. Eggsy also didn’t speak to him, and that hurt more than Harry thought it would.

There was a decrease in activity from The Scottish Wizard, Harry noted, but he would know because he was at home. A couple more weeks went by, and Eggsy grew further and further from Harry. He had hoped to do the young man a favor, when he recruited him, repayment for the cock up during a joint assignment with his father, Lee.

But it seemed Harry had cocked up here, too, and now the boy was just a shadow in his life. Harry headed home one evening, the house smelling of roasted chicken and vegetables. Merlin had picked up cooking, all he did was watch cooking shows and look up recipes.

Harry had missed the chase, missed how they used to play cat and mouse in the field and now his partner had become a house husband.

“Darling, I’m home,” Harry called, like he did every day. He didn’t wait for him to reply where he was, already knew Merlin was in the kitchen. Harry had to do a double take, as he spotted Eggsy seated at his bistro table.

“Hey, Harry,” Eggsy said raising a beer in salute.

Harry sat across from Eggsy and just stared, he ignored Merlin at the stove. “What are you doing here?” he asked, unsure as to be excited or terrified he was going to bring Merlin in.

Eggsy finished his beer, before he leveled a thoughtful gaze on Harry. “I got to thinking. I really needed to be a part from you, do my own processing of this whole bit without your influence,” he explained. “You ain’t a dirty copper, Harry, I know that. I just couldn’t figure out how this,” he waved his hand around the room, “came about, with you and Quinn.”

He nodded his head, not sure he could offer an explanation right then.

“So, I came here when I knew you wasn’t home, and got to talking with your man, and he helped me understand a lot. I ain’t going to lie, Harry, thought about cuffing him anyway and bringing him in, but that would upset you.” He paused, took a deep breath and continued. “I ain’t gonna stop others from doing it, but won’t tip them off either.” A weight, that Harry hadn’t known he was carrying, lifted off of his shoulders.

“Thank you, Eggsy,” Harry said, sincerely. He meant that more than Eggsy could ever know. Merlin came over, and sat between them, his ankle rested comfortably against Harry’s, and he was relieved to know he’d get to do this a bit longer.

Eggsy smiled, it was wide and scary...the kind of smile Harry got when, Eggsy knew, he was going to regret what came out of Eggsy’s mouth next.

“Quinn said something about how you two met.” His voice was giddy, and Harry groaned. “Nah, bruv. If I’m keeping my trap shut, because I don’t grass on my mates, you are going to spill the beans.” And Harry figured that was fair.

The rest of the evening, Harry explained his undercover mission as a cross dresser, and how he had a one-night stand - that turned into a two decade partnership, and counting - with a nerdy, balding man who managed to end up in his hotel room by accident, and who was also one of the cleverest computer hackers he had met.

Eggsy was in stitches, when Merlin pulled out an old photo of Harry in a red-satin, floor length dress and heels to match.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you all enjoyed!  
Much love <3


End file.
